Product Review: Zeus Iceborn

Being a publisher in the pot business has its perks. MJNewsNetwork specializes in covering the business of legal cannabis, including showcasing the emerging leaders in business and commerce.  We are always on the lookout for the the hottest new pot products, and occasionally get the odd product sent to us for review.

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A 10-panel brochure explains assembly

Such was the case when some zealous Canadian PR folks found us online and asked us if we’d like to review the “Zeus Iceborn.”  Thinking it was some sort of newfangled vaporizer, we agreed.  A few weeks later the package arrived.  Now I’m a design and packaging freak, so the first thing we noticed when we unwrapped the shipping envelope was that this was one expensively designed package.

The sleek black rectangular box reminded me of an Apple experience. Cool graphics grace the front panel emblazoned with “Zeus Iceborn”.  Turning the box around, we read: “Complete Your Arsenal” TM with 2 Elvis TCB lightning bolts in either corner.  What? On the back we meet a weird cartoon deity (Zeus?) with more lightning bolts shooting out of his hands as he squeezes the word “Zeus.”  Underneath this World of Warcraft-like image reads, “Deep from the Blue/ I summon you/ To frost you be sworn/ become the Iceborn.”

Now, this back panel sort of took the whole thing down a level for me. First of all, I have no idea who the heck this Zeus is, and what he has to do with vaping cannabis. Second, the whole comic-book thing made me feel like this product was not targeting me.

Inside the Zeus Iceborn

Inside the Zeus Iceborn

Fail number one: there is no way that a consumer would have any idea whatsoever as to the function of the Zeus Iceborn from the box. Really, there is nothing on the box that says what it is, or why anyone would want such a thing.

Upon opening the box – more intrigue. A 10-panel brochure describing how to clean and assemble the Zeus Iceborn.  Clearly someone spent a whole lot of dough on the instructions as well as the packaging. Underneath the brochure is a plastic cup, which unscrews to reveal a few different aluminum tubes and a couple of washers. A separate compartment contains three different “whips” and a mouthpiece. Man, this thing is more complicated than an IKEA bookshelf.   Interesting, but how does it work? And where do I put the weed?  Back to the instructions.

I have to read the brochure again thoroughly before I finally figure it out. You fill the cup, and then put it in the freezer overnight. What? There goes instant gratification.  And once the cup is frozen, it must be connected to a vaporizer before you can get high.  But not just any vaporizer!

Fail number two: This devise does not work with any of the popular vaporizers that I have in my arsenal: neither the original Firefly, nor the first and second generation Pax nor my old school Volcano. It seems you need to have a Zeus vaporizer (apparently popular in Canada though I’ve never seen one here in Seattle) or some other  fancy $600 Herbalizers with a whip attachment for this thing to work.

I give up, and put the elaborate device back in the box.  As a 50-something pot smoker who only vapes occasionally,  I have no use for the Zeus Iceborn. I’ve shown the Zeus Iceborn to several of my stoner peers, and while most were equally impressed with the production values of the packaging, they were also perplexed as to the utility.  Fact: I even tried to give it away several times, but got no takers!  So, who would buy the Zeus Iceborn?  My best guess: gamer-obsessed geeky vape dudes with more dollars than sense.