Drunken Sorority Sisters

This is, by far, the worst crap, er, crop I’ve ever grown.  Stoopid spider mites come back every three days. I’ve hit them will sulfur, and organic sprays that won’t hurt the delicate THC crystals growing within. But still the yellow specks remain and all I want to do is take a high pressure hose to the girls and wash them away. But there’s shag carpet under that blacked visqueened floor, and pretty wallpaper behind that sheetrocked wall. I have no firehose.



It’s obvious to any grower that I didn’t provide enough nutrients during vegetative growth. The girls are tall and skinny, gangly awkward. They bend and fall over – like drunken sorority sisters.  “I should have raised them better.”

But just like anything, including children, if you take your eyes of them for a minute, all hell beaks loose. Whatever you pay attention to, gets the most focus. Lately I’ve been too distracted working with the new gangeprenuers, networking with other people trying to find their way under I-502. Today I spoke to a woman looking for 4,000 feet of warehouse space; another needs more security cameras to pass inspection – within 24 hours.  I want to help this new industry succeed.  Unfortunately, this may be a  long and bumpy ride. I only hope my crop can take it!

Book Review: “Cannabis for Capitalists: Production Horticulture Tools, Materials, Techniques & Resources”

My editor handed me a book to review, but not a printed version, rather a thumb drive in a padded envelope. I was told that this USB unit has an expiration date, encouraging visions of a smoking time bomb after I insert it into my aging laptop.

Speaking of smoke, ‘Cannabis for Capitalists’ really is more of a users’ guide for growing mass quantities of marijuana – excuse me, for growing CANNABIS. Considering this was written by Kerrie Badertscher, a certified professional horticulturist, and her husband Kurt Badertscher, both of Otoké Horticulture, I should probably use proper terminology. [Read more…]

Happy Hempy New Year 2014!

I started 2013 with a basement full of weed and an empty bank account. I don’t know of any Seattle grower that actually got rich from growing pot this year. I think a lot of us unemployed corporate types that got laid off saw the opportunity to work for ourselves until the state could figure out what to do with the future of medical and voter approved recreational pot.

A year later, the future of medical marijuana in Washington State is still tenuous. I have personally witnessed healing in people who use cannabis as medicine and I think it’s a crime that providers have been thrown in jail for helping others. Cannabis IS medicine and we have a God-given right to have access to it.

Dispensary “donations” were my main source of income in 2013. I make half of what I used to back in my VC-funded days, but I don’t care. Money is not it. Helping people, and loving what you do on a daily basis where it’s at, man. [Read more…]

What's An MMJ Gardener To Do Under 502?

I remember telling my therapist that I was going to start growing and selling weed on my own, and I needed her assistance in making sure I wasn’t too crazy. I was burnt out on corporate life, the kids had grown up and moved out, and I desperately needed to make some major life changes. She was a best therapist I ever had.

I obtained my medical card and started growing cannabis for myself, dispensaries, friends and family. I don’t make a lot of money, about a third of my venture capitalist days, but I love it. Growing weed is like having a baby — you want to nurture, but not smother; encourage, but don’t stress. The result – beautiful blossoms for everyone to enjoy. [Read more…]

And So It Begins…A Legal Marijuana Industry Is Born

Today’s the day Washington State takes applications for legalized, for profit, marijuana businesses. It seems like only yesterday I was closing the blinds, hiding my pot smoking-turned-growing bud business. We didn’t even dare mention the word Pot in any cell phone conversation. “Can I get some ‘salad’?’” my friends would ask.  Now its “I want an ounce of that deep purple sticky-icky.”

Now I tell any barista that asks that I’m headed to a meeting of potreprenuers. I’ve updated my social and professional networks to include my work in the world of weed. I was shocked when I asked a friend to join me in this endeavor, he said he couldn’t tell his parents, or his kids, what he’d be doing. “You gotta come out of the pot closet,” I said, “otherwise get out of the fast lane, because you’ll get run over.” [Read more…]

Bonnie and Clyde Of The Green Rush

We met at the Baltic Room in 2009. Jack is an average-looking white dude, bald and shorter than me, but there was instant and overpowering chemistry. I would never have guessed that he had a basement full of weed. I rented out my house and moved in with him three months later. It was love at first site – for both him and the grow room.

When I lost my job, I figured I could be a stay-at-home girlfriend, collect rent money, and take care of the ladies in his basement. He asked me to call dispensaries and make ‘donations’ which soon became my part-time job – working Rainier Ave and frequenting West Seattle, making connections with several dispensaries. In 2010, the going rate was $2,800 per pound, on consignment, and usually paid in full within three weeks. [Read more…]

Beets to Cannabis

My mentor, the Queen of Weed, taught me more in 5 days than I had learned in my off and on passion with marijuana in 30 years. More off than on, because of the unavailability. After being in Seattle and seeing her garden, I now daydream of being a pot farmer. [Read more…]